"Shocked Open Wide"

If shocked open wide, find solace in time.
Begin to see, and learn from, the connections
intrinsic to all kinds of natural existence.
All persistence in life’s subsistence can be
found there, laid bare in varying degrees
of energy, frequency and vibration.

Search with all six of your senses, then act
to heal the crowded nation within you mind,
atone for the duration of your soul’s time,
perhaps for its salvation, and be patient
while moving for the health of your body.
There’s no promise or point in being sorry.

Experience, decide, and conclude.
It is all that anyone can do.

– Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

"As children, we are seldom told we have a place in life that is uniquely ours alone. Instead, we are encouraged to believe that our life should somehow fulfill the expectations of others, that we will (or should) find our satisfactions as they have found theirs.

Rather than being taught to ask ourselves who we are, we are schooled to ask others. We are, in effect, trained to listen to others' versions of ourselves. We are brought up in our life as told to us by someone else.

When we survey our lives, seeking to fulfill our creativity, we often see we had a dream that went glimmering because we believed, and those around us believed, that the dream was beyond our reach. Many of us would have been, or at least might have been, done, tried something, if...

If we had known who we really were."

-- Julia Cameron

Another injection of an experimental predilection to the ancient heavenly connection through timeless reinvention, by means of intervention.

There exists in life a challenge which we all pose to ourselves:  do we choose to define a sacred space for the eternal presence held ?  It exists maybe constantly, but most are only consciously aware of it now and again, and we are aware of it often as a version inhabiting the consciousness travelling within each of us, a peaceful piece of us.

Another injection of an experimental predilection to the ancient heavenly connection through timeless reinvention, by means of intervention.

A spiritual artist may call that presence God, who bestows all creation as a source for divine inspiration. A studied artist may persist in praising the timeless works as gifts in their personal discipline.  An atheist may consider it found in the scientific process, to be more specific the logical connections intrinsic in space and time.  An introverted writer, self-sealed under lock and key, may believe it to be the cathartic flow state, drawn from an immense explosion within their measured, tethered, and treasured solitude to carry through our lives. 

​All of these are silent means to achieve the impossible dream:  naming that which seems to most times remain unseen.

Another injection of an experimental predilection to the ancient heavenly connection through timeless reinvention, by means of intervention.

"Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me.
I'm not sleepy and there ain't no place I'm going to.
Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me.
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come following you.

"Though I know that evening's empire has returned into sand, vanished from my hand,  left me blindly here to stand, but still not sleeping.  My weariness amazes me.  I'm branded on my feet.  I have no one to meet, and the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

"Take me on a trip upon your magic swirling ship.  My senses have been stripped, and my hands can't feel to grip, and my toes too numb to step.  Wait only for my boot heels to be wandering.  I'm ready to go anywhere.  I'm ready for the fade into my own parade.  Cast your dancing spell my way; I promise to go under it.

"Though you might hear laughing, spinning, swinging madly across the sun, it's not aimed at anyone.  It's just escaping on the run, and but for the sky there are no fences facing.  And if you hear vague traces of skipping reels of rhyme to your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind.  I wouldn't pay it any mind.  It's just a shadow you're seeing that he's chasing.

"Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind, down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves, the haunted frightened trees, out to the windy beach, far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.  Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky, with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, with all memory of fate driven deep beneath the waves.  Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

"Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me.
I'm not sleepy and there ain't no place I'm going to.
Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me.
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come following you."

-- Bob Dylan

“Only Once and Again”
– Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

This something… this something doesn't need to happen forever and always. This sort of something...  it comes along only once and again. In the grand scheme of things, it's how rare it is, just how fleeting its nature… that quality helps to make it special. In the grand scheme of it all, that's what makes you feel even better than always and forever, because it’s only once and again.

You can't possess it; it can't be owned.
You can't possess it; it can't be owned.
You can't possess it; it can't be owned.
That much is definite, indefinitely.

“Only Once and Again”
– Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

This something… this something doesn't need to happen for always and forever. This something… this something comes along only once and again. In the grand scheme of things, how rare it is, just how fleeting its nature… that helps to make it special. In the grand scheme of it all, that's what makes you feel even better than always and forever, because it’s only once and again.

You can't possess it; it can't be owned.
You can't possess it; it can't be owned.
You can't possess it; it can't be owned.
That much is definite, indefinitely.

Look down...  You have blood on your hands.

I used to think that I was a fool, and that there was something wrong with me, because I'm not the kind who can look at somebody, know everything about them, and sum them up in a word or two.

I know better now.  Idiots think somebody can be summed up in a five-minute session of mind games and judgement.  Now that I've grown wiser, something which those idiots never did...  never grew up out of their high school phase, I know I'm not missing out.  I'm not the stupid one, and I never want to be like that in my life again.

You see, I've bled too much in my life to forget past sins.  But, at some point though, I learned that to obsess about cruelty only prolongs the pain.  Please remember this:  the world will soon forget all of your grand achievements and the good things that you do.  But...  they will never stop looking for the wrong things you've done, the sins that you've committed.  For that reason, tread lightly when you're dealing with people, and show kindness.  After all, everybody makes mistakes in their life.  It's what we learn from them, what we do with that knowledge, and how we apply it in our everyday life...  that's what matters.

My Aunt Elaine recently passed on to the other side.  While I was growing up, she was always a bright light at family get togethers, just happy and joking around, with an infectious laugh.  She was genuinely kind-hearted and inquisitive about everything in life.

Sadly, said revelations of mine only come to me in retrospect.  I wasn't the kid who shared his inner workings with people.  So, as many have told me over the years, I have been caught up in expressing things dear to me and my passions in this life, in hopes that I may spread understanding and compassion for people whom are LGBTQ.

Knowing this, it probably shoundn't have come to me as a surprise that she would give an outstretched hand and open mind about me, my passions, and my sexuality.  She opened up that dialogue for a better understanding about LGBTQ people through me.  Looking back, it shouldn't have surprised me that she'd do it.  Then again, hindsight is 20/20.

In short, I will genuinely miss her.  She helped me to tear down the wall I put up against my Dad's side of the family.  Others have leant kind words and compassion, but she was the first who showed me.  She proved to me through her actions that she cared.  She'll be missed by all who know her still.  Goodnight, and God bless.

It's in the crisp autumn air, snapping crackles of bonfires, and biting breeze beauty of Halloween. That is where the magic lies. Have a Merry Halloween (All Hallows Eve), a Holy All Saints' Day, and a sacred El Dia de los Muertos.

Why not trust a better, more romantic voodoo for us to connect with solemn blessings ? We could cherish having kissed the spirited. Tears-sparking lips of loved kin, we kindle lava wax and cider, and a bonfire's kindling of cedar.

See, the whole thing is... a time-tattered, torn and tired Victorian home, is cast as a center force of marketed cheap kicks reeling, our humanity lost... meaningless horror and mauling.

But the very truth in this gorgeous Victorian home ? There's truth of a soulful whole, family members passed, visiting with us there. Through our presence, we gather ourselves around sentient crystals and, while smudging sage brush, these permeate. Gathered touch, lost over uncountable years, regained.

So yes, it's in the crisp autumn air, snapping crackles of bonfires, and biting breeze beauty of Halloween. May glory be to a monumental, but always too brief, rejoining of here and hereafter, with our well-loved ones.

For me, is about celebrating the harvest time, and communing with nature and the spirit world. Also, it will always be a time of prayer and reflection for me, and a time of abundant transition between the life of summer and the death of winter. Finally, it's always a time of romanticism and beauty.

So by all means... celebrate it. Just know that, like Christmas, it has a deeply-rooted meaning and tradition for many around the globe, and most people celebrating aren't wearing sexy French maid outfits.

Let the wind guide you, within the beauty in the sad, strange dancing raindrops. Your soulful oddities ? Let them go… immerse themselves within the realm of the dying sun. The nightfall beckons us to cry out in song, praising this Halloween (All Hallows Eve)​, this All Saints' Day​, and El dia de los muertos.

So speak to those whom are unseen and have passed to the other world. Speak to your loved ones departed. Thank them for never going away, and praise this trinity of days, when they are felt most strongly, and most graciously remain in our minds and hearts.

There are moments when you feel that language is impotent: in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I’m asking, "What next ?"

​-- Buddha


Sometimes, somehow... once you get your soul some solid footing, you realize that it's the moment that starts a world of learning: who are you; where in life do you need to go; what do you need to do to be happy; what terms are you willing / not willing to accept as an individual, and many other questions. Once you answer those questions, you build you sense of dignity, self-worth, and take responsibility for everything that is you and your life.

Took me a long time to realize, and it's different for each of us, in varying degrees. However, it only strengthens my connection to our common humanity as LGBTQ brothers and sisters, and the resolve to work at expanding my consciousness and, just... helping.

I hope that some who are reading this, if you haven't heard it click into place before, that you take a good while to read, let it swim around so your subconscious mind can bat it around, until all the pieces fill in the blanks.  It will click for you when you need it, normally when you least expect it.

I wish only the very best to everybody who reads my posts, because pain is a given for everybody who has found their true heart.  It's also a prerequisite to forge our own path.  It's going to hurt, that I can promise...  you're not doing it right if it doesn't hurt.  But there is beauty to admire,  a world full things for pondering, and wonderment at the complex things that icebergs are, with so much beneath the surface.

with hope,
Hobbes

With amazing clarity and plain talk, Joe Rogan discuses topics that I've been pondering and researching for a good while: implications of technological breakthroughs, the true nature of religious experiences, DMT & psychedelics in general, downloading our consciousness, drug wars, pharmaceuticals... and he does it in a few minutes.

No clear answers on my part, but I'm still looking and listening with no lack of enthusiasm.  Have a good look and listen for yourself.  Enlightenment is the greatest comeback.

One of the features on pretty much every smartphone is the auto-suggest.  Once again, I've been in a writing slump.  Normally I can punch out three or four full songs in about a week.  So when I fall into a slump, I decide to open the Evernote app,  and let the auto-suggest help me out.

Evernote is a life-saver for getting all aspects of my work together in one place.  I can write notes on my phone and laptop, and then it will sync the two so that I have my most recent work no matter where I am.  I can also save articles off of the internet that I'd like to read later, or have already read, and want handy for inspiration.  All notes can be saved in notebooks, which can be labeled to sum up what I want to save in them.

Evernote has the auto-suggest feature active in it.  So to start things off, I use auto-suggest to choose one letter, and then let the feature do the rest.  I click on suggested words, and as it is designed to do, the feature's algorithm tries to guess what sentences I am about to write.  These phrases and sentences that the phone and I complete, amazingly start summing up my then current mood.  With creative juices flowing, I slowly pick up on a theme.  Having discovered that theme, it becomes much easier to finish up a song.

I don't recommend too much editing until you discover a theme in your writing, but this method easily lends itself to opening up one's mind to more literary possibilities.  In this case it's exactly what I need this time around.  And so, here's the current song for which I'm using auto-suggest.  It's not finished, but I thought it's a good idea to share with the rest of the class.


"All that's Good in the World"
-- Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

Now and then again, people who have been my friends, going for broke to keep dreams from going up in smoke.  Though we are not yet broken, how we need a Don Quixote.  Help us to fight giants in windmills, our squire knows no one can kill those who dream the impossible dream...  please dream an impossible dream.

Been many days working with you and the best, all that is left, this is a test.  The wicked are good at keeping us on our toes.  That's how the story goes.  So when the floors fall out of under out feet, that's the refuge we have to keep ourselves composed for our time here.

This will not stand.  This will not stand.
All that's good in the world commands.
This will not stand.  This will not stand.
All that's good in the world commands.

This protest started in April.

​The Sioux protest going on won't be on the news.  America and Israel PR won't report true matters that take place when they undermine the government.  Officials are arresting Native Americans who are peacefully protesting on their own land, for their own land, every day since April.

Remember, the oil would eventually be transported down the Missouri River, which flows into the Mississippi River.  All states that rely on these 2 rivers, should there be a oil spill, would have drinking water, irrigation, fishing, commercial, and recreation...  all would have this water contaminated.

You see, construction halted after more than 1,000 people swarmed to protest the Dakota Access pipeline threatens the Missouri River.  This pipeline is planned to run underground where Sioux ancestors have been traditionally buried on their sacred, native land.  The $3.8 billion pipeline at the heart of the protest would carry about half a million barrels of crude oil per day from the Bakken oil field to Illinois.  There it would link with other pipelines to transport the oil to Gulf Coast refineries and terminals.  Remember, after it the oil would eventually be transported down the Missouri River, which flows into the Mississippi River.  All states on these 2 rivers, would have drinking water, irrigation, fishing, commercial, and recreational...  all would have this water irreversibly contaminated.

So, what the government and big oil don't want us to know is that this oil transport would run straight down the center of our country to the Gulf of Mexico.  Still sound safe ?  Something people would agree to, upon gaining knowledge of it and the situation at hand ?

Protesters from dozens of tribes across the country are now camping in tents, tepees and mobile homes at the Sacred Stone Camp, a mile and a half from the construction site.

The Standing Rock tribe, one of the poorest communities in the nation, relies on the Missouri River for drinking water, irrigation, fishing and recreation, and for cultural and religious practices. The reservation covers about 3,600 square miles along the river.

Ranchers are challenging the project elsewhere along its 1,168-mile path.  On August 9th, lawyers representing 14 Iowa landowners filed a motion to halt construction of the pipeline across their property. The suit challenged Dakota Access's use of the Bush Administration's passed measure of "Eminent Domain" to seize land for what it says is private use. 

There is definitely Hope growing.  Knowing all of this, as more Americans learn about the imposing threat, Hope rises.  Over the past year, protests against fossil fuel infrastucture projects nationwide have increased,  In fact, just under 300 projects have been rejected or cancelled.  The most prominent among them was the Keystone XL pipeline. 

So please...  share this post, share different articles, talk to anyone who'll listen about this.  We've done it before.  We can win this.

I have my issues with some transgender people.  I know that saying this will drive some away from me in life, who believe that I'm a hypocrite for this position.  I am not exactly eager to have a conversation about it, with everybody...  here.  However, I definitely have a sense of my life's purpose, and that is to appeal to everybody's best side, their humanity...  so that the conversations that I do have, both here and out in the real world, focus on creating an environment for a free and open dialogue on issues of sexuality.

It was a black transgender lesbian activist who organized / started the Stonewall riots. For that fact, I'm eternally grateful.  Had I been there in that place and time, I'd 100% have joined up with them.  The difference is that they were adults, and had experienced growing up, so that they developed, not just mentally, but physically enough that 1)  it wouldn't be such a shock to their physical body.  Coming out is one thing entirely different than making changes to one's anatomy, so early in their physical development, when it can be harmful...  physically dangerous.  If they're 18+ (legally adults), they have their American right to live their lives as they want, so long as they're not hurting anybody.

I have some quotes that stick out in my mind now.  I'm putting them out here, because I know I do have young readers out there, and I know this because with 600 - 700 readers a week, realistically some have to be, or are looking for a safe place to read and talk about this all.

There...  I've laid out what I have to say for now.  Feels good to get it out and off my chest.  Questions on anything unsaid or said ?  Ask.  If it does or doesn't have anything to do with me ?  Ask.


"The night I posted it, I cried like a fucking baby.  It was like all the frequency just clicked to a change in my head. All the receptors were now receiving a different signal, and I was happy. I hadn't been happy in so long."

-- Frank Ocean


 "Every day, I walk by the many kids that go school here in Midtown Manhattan.  I see bullying and name calling all the time.  For the most part, it seems relatively harmless, especially when the kid being picked on can fight back a bit.  I usually roll my eyes and keep walking, avoiding the after school energy of these 13 and 14 year old's.

Today, however, I witnessed bullying of a different kind.  The kind that churns your stomach and makes you truly angry.  I was walking out of my building when I saw a group of boys throwing around and singling out another boy.  When the victim tried to walk away, one of the others spat at him and called him a ‘faggot.'  I yelled to the kids the only thing that could come to my mind:  "Don't use that word.  Back off !!!"

​-- Matt Doyle


 "When it comes to suicide prevention and crisis prevention, I can't stress how important it is to work through it, and get to that better moment, because the better moment will come.  I was fortunate to reach that better moment, but so many people are not, and so to tell them that these resources are out there, even if they never call, is literally life saving."

-- Tyler Oakley

Another month is beginning, so it’s time for an update blog.  Although there’s not much new to speak of, everything I’m already working on is coming along quite well.  The “Magix Music Maker 2016 Premium” software that I bought is fully compatible with the “Music Maker Jam” app that I used to write 3 new tracks on my smart phone (10 total).  "Magix Music Maker 2016 Premium" comes with over 6,500+ sounds and loops, 17 virtual instruments, unlimited tracks, professional effects & mastering plug-ins.  All of that makes me very happy.  Happy is good.

I’m adding poetry and lyrics like crazy now.  Lyrics are still being “updated” more than I would care, though.  The count is at 30 separate songs worth of lyrics.  Still writing a poetry book with one poem per each style there is, so why stop writing lyrics when they can turn into poems for a poetry book ?  So... that’s still the plan now.

Like I said before, not really much new other than gradual progress in my current creative works.  As usual, I encourage comments on anything and everything musical, poetic, musicology, and what have you.  I like talking about philosophy too, seeing as how it tends to free up my mind to write and compose. Again, if you’d like to get in touch to bounce creative ideas off of me, that would be terrific.  Until next time, I wish you all of the best, and hope that your journey brings you back to my site.

Sincerely,
Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

The Ghost, me, and my parents made a road trip to Nashville, Tennessee just before the 4th of July.  Was a great vacation to go see my Mom's side of the family, whom I secretly love more than I ever say.  My 2 cousins and their respective families all own Pinewood Store and Restaurant.  They cook unbelievably great tasting food.  Also their menu is full of the healthiest food you can get, but if you're just not open to gluten free and vegan, they have grass-fed beef and free range chicken.

The second amazing thing about it ?  My beautiful cousin Mee Tracy McCormick, her noble husband Lee McCormick,  their 2 girls and Mee's strong, and very real, sister Nicole Tracy...  they grow and raise all of their vegetables and stock on Pinewood Ranch:  cow and sheep herding dogs, horses, and everything else.  One night, we all sat around listening to my Uncle Mike and Aunt Melinda play guitar and sing, like they have all of their lives (they have a music recording studio in their basement).  Another day, everybody went kayaking together, and also I road around the ranch with my brave-to-take-all-of-this-on cousin Mee, her friend Patrick, and The Ghost looking at all of the animals and fields of vegetables.  A most sincere thanks to all of you who helped make it such an awesome time.  Can't wait until the next family outing.

Next on the list my parents, the Ghost, and I met up with my sister and her family in West Virginia for the 4th of July weekend.  The area is close to Seneca Rock (a huge monolith best known by rock-climbing adventurers) and we all went spelunking in the Seneca Caverns.  We had rented a place there:  a couple bonfires, roasting marshmallows, a hot tub, a grill, some fireworks...  wow.

Well...  that's all my storytelling for tonight.  If you'd like more information about Pinewood Store and Restaurant click on the link below.  I should have an update about all things creative in a few days.  Thanks for spending a little time with me and my ramblings.  G'night.

www.pinewoodstoreandkitchen.com/

I am a falcon, I am a bird of prey,
making a killing in a different way.
Grown weary of flying in circles,
losing ground chasing miracles,
I’m just evil enough to know it.
But too ashamed to ever show it.

Am I making your skin, crawl ?
or am I making your skin, thicker ?
Am I making your skin, crawl ?
or am I making your skin, thicker ?

Is any of this sinking through ?
Thought you had me, didn’t you ?
Well…  maybe you do.

For whatever it may be worth to you,
my one night stands were few and far between.
Don’t mean to play my dismay in some cheap cliché,
but when the walls fell, as I was facing Hell,
There was my answer in a played-out movie line.
“You make me want to be a better person.”
Now I ask you: don’t those words ring true ?

I could have stayed struggling and insane.
I could have kept believing / living the lie.
When I saw you, shining through,
I had the chance; I had the choice.
I took the chance; I made the choice,
Far beyond spellbound by your voice.

No longer a falcon, no bird of prey,
I sing a new song on a born again day.
Given up flying in circles, to rest
these bones in the home of my nest.
Don’t understand exactly why or how.
But you’re all that matters now.

Pray this doesn’t make your skin crawl.
Pray you’ll choose to let me in.
Pray this doesn’t make your skin crawl.
Pray you’ll choose to let me in.

Is any of this ringing through to true ?
Thought you had me, didn’t you ?
Well…  you know that you do.
Oh...  you know you do.

Our universe is a symphony.  It's a symphony of vibrating strings and possibly membranes, but when it was born, it was born as a perfect entity in 11 dimensional hyperspace.  That may eventually give us "a theory of everything".

“String Theory says that all the notes on a vibrating string correspond to a particle.  That an electron is actually a rubber band.  A very tiny rubber band, but if you twang this rubber band and the rubber band vibrates at a different frequency, it turns into a quark.  And you twang it again and it turns into a neutrino.  So, how many musical notes are there ?  An infinite.  How many musical notes are there on a string ?  An infinite number.  And that may explain why we have so many subatomic particles.  They are nothing but musical notes.  So, physics is nothing but the laws of harmonies on a string.

Chemistry is nothing but the melodies you can play on vibrating strings, and the mind of God, the mind of God that Einstein worked on for the last 30 years of his life, the mind of God would be cosmic music.  Cosmic music resonating through 11 dimensional hyperspace.  You see, our universe Is a symphony.  It's a symphony of vibrating strings and possibly membranes, but when it was born, it was born as a perfect entity in 11 dimensional hyperspace. That may eventually give us "a theory of everything."

-- Professor Michio Kaku


For the video of him discussing this
along with an attached transcript:
http://bigthink.com/ideas/19055

If one were to think in terms of musical frequencies emitted by each planet in a specific sign, a person's horoscope would make a specific kind of harmony or music. Then, when brought together with others (people or even planets that continue to move through time), the music would be either enhanced or become cacophonic. In fact, the music is constantly encouraged to adapt and rearrange itself to fit the stronger pattern.

Johannes Kepler (1561-1630) spoke convincingly of the harmony that permeates the universe, extending the work of Pythagoras and the theme of "music of the spheres".

Pythagoras defined music as the perfect union of contrary things, as unity in multiplicity, or accord in discord. Indeed, music does not only coordinate rhythm and modulation, but imposes order on the whole system.

Musica universalis (lit. universal music, or music of the spheres) or Harmony of the Spheres is an ancient philosophical concept that regards proportions in the movements of celestial bodies—the Sun, Moon, and planets—as a form of musica (the Medieval Latin term for music). This "music" is not usually thought to be literally audible, but a harmonic, mathematical or religious concept. The idea continued to appeal to thinkers about music until the end of the Renaissance, influencing scholars of many kinds, including humanists.

A small number of recent compositions either make reference to or are based on the concepts of Musica Universalis or Harmony of the Spheres. Among these are Music of the Spheres by Mike Oldfield, Om by the Moody Blues, and Björk's 2011 album Biophilia.

The three branches of the Medieval concept of musica were presented by Boethius in his book De Musica:  musica mundana (sometimes referred to as musica universalis); musica humana (the internal music of the human body); and musica quae in quibusdam constituta est instrumentis (sounds made by singers and instrumentalists).

According to Max Heindel's Rosicrucian writings, the heavenly "music of the spheres" is heard in the Region of Concrete Thought, the lower region of the mental plane, which is an ocean of harmony.

It is also referred to in Esoteric Christianity as the place where the state of consciousness known as the "Second Heaven" occurs.

Here we are again, practically the beginning of a new month.  Which means, it’s time for an update blog.  Although there’s not much new to speak of, everything seems to be progressing well.  There have been the regular up's and down's, but nothing severe.  At any rate, here we go.

I just purchased the “Magix Music Maker 2016 Premium” software.  It’s fully compatible with the “Music Maker Jam” app that I used to write 7 compositions on my smart phone.  It comes with over 6,500+ sounds and loops, 17 virtual instruments, unlimited tracks, professional effects & mastering plug-ins.  All said and done, I’m one damn happy camper.

I wasn’t accepted into Carnegie Mellon University this academic year.  It didn't crush my hopes, but can't say it felt great finding out the news.  They did write me an actual, personal letter online, signed and everything.  Basically it said that they admired my spirit, the achievements I have made, and encouraged me to apply again, and keep on with all that I'm doing.  There's always 2017-2018.  Until then, I'll keep walking my path.

The composing has been slow with me.  Just after a 2 week drought, I’m setting up one that I’ve donned “Speak in Tongues”.  No rational thought behind the title; that’s what the timbre of the arrangement evokes in me.  Yeah… this one also seems like it’s going to be a mess to sort through.  On the upside, normally my messes prove to help me to grow the most as a human being.  As with any songwriter, nobody really can say where a song is going to land, whether or not it will end up on the album.  One song you compose will have all of the lyrics fit with everything about the song and it’s done in 3 days.  Others loom in the background until that final piece comes into play, and you know it’s finished, perfectly.  That’s just hows songs are.

Fortunately I’m adding poetry and lyrics like crazy now.  Lyrics keep getting, err… “updated”.  The count is at 25 separate songs worth of lyrics.  So I have all of the lyrics that I need for my solo project.  My take on the situation ?  Awhile back, it was suggested that I write a full-fledged poetry book with one “work” per each style of poem.  Why stop writing lyrics when they can turn into poems for a poetry book ?  That’s still the concept now.

My next attempts at poetry will follow 3 of the 4 different types of sonnets:  The English (Shakespearean), The Italian (Petrarchan), The Spenserian, and The Indefinable.  That’s right: there’s a category for sonnets that don’t belong to any classification.  It’s the counterculture, misfit, none-of-the-above, check “other” on your SAT form...  of what we say passes for existence.  I wrote the Indefinable one a while back, not even knowing that I did it.  So Cheers to 3 poems adhering to the literary rules.  The lines are your friends, Hobbes; stay in the space between the lines.

I’m eagerly anticipating yinz all writing a comment or two about what I've been rambling on about.  I know what I think and where I stand for now.  I’m curious as to what all of yinz guys can bring to the discussion.  I’ll leave you with that for today.

With sincere gratitude,
Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

In completely predictable news, the US Congress actually voted 3 times in a row as to whether they should vote on studying the pain management properties of Marijuana (thc or cbd) as a substitute for addiction to pharmaceutical pain killers.

That's right.  They couldn't just vote if they should set up a committee and hire scientists to do research.  No, they had to vote on whether they'd vote on the possibility of appointing a committee and doing research.

In reality, it has already been determined that addiction to pharmaceutical pain killers (normally opioids) leads to illegal opioid addiction, which is in direct causality to the massive heroin (an opioid) addiction trend here in the USA.

My stake in all of this ?  I have psychiatric and medical conditions that Marijuana can either cure or provide considerable relief.  After a couple bad falls and surgeries, I have pain in my spine that is excruciating at times.  I also have Crohn's Disease, have a schizo-affective disorder, high anxiety attacks, diabetes and a statistically high risk for glaucoma.

Medicinal Marijuana can reverse the course of Crohn's Disease to the point that it is either cured or, at the very least, goes into remission.  Marijuana also breaks the circular mindset common in schizo-affective disorder.  Doing that allows the patient a fresh perspective:  see new ideas, consider philosophical concepts as a means to develop coping devices, and the inside/outside world as they relate to one another.  Next, there is the constant, aching pain in all of the muscles in my body.  Point Blank, marijuana can alleviate all of the pain and tension.  Finally, while acknowledging that nothing is perfect, all of these remedies are from a 100% natural source.


The Punchline:
Medicinal Marijuana is legal in Washington D.C.  Marijuana has also been Legalized there, but the plan hasn't been implemented.  And of course, the date for implementation keeps getting kicked back.  That means that Congress will probably sign the bill into law in the lame duck sessions after the elections are over.  One can only hope.

"Before Beginning"
-- Hobbes Deutsch, Jr.

Hey... why can't our lives be monumental ?
You see… all that most do is pass the time.
What could one person's greatness show or prove ?
And are any of us truly ready for the answer ?

Could we show some respect for all uncommon things ?
For something better to shine within a summer bonfire ?
Before the embers fade and the night forsaken.
the dawn breaking bravado into domestic drudgery.
Wallowing in the mire, Wallowing in the mire...

Teach me how to let go of everything. Sometimes, to just heal...
let my head spin out the mental stress, until my soul can rest,
in a state of holy grace, through all of time and space.


Don’t look back; come on in. Got to get
out of your way before you can begin.

Don’t look back; come on in. Got to get
out of your way before you can begin.

​Don’t look back; come on in. Got to get
out of your way before you can begin.

Welcome once again to my blog about what’s new and happening with my music and whatever else in my life that has my attention. I hope that you are doing well physically, mentally, and emotionally, wherever you may be in your journey. If you need an ear to listen without prejudice, either leave a comment or write me an email at hobbes@hobbesmusic.com. And now, without further ado, here’s the update.

My first solo project, “Optimal Optical & the Auditory Story of the Mind”, now has plenty of written lyrics to draw from, but only a few musical ideas and compositions. All together I have 25 songs worth of lyrics but only 7 pieces of music. You can hear a mix of 3 music renderings in the first track at soundcloud.com/hobbes-deutsch-jr or at reverbnation.com/hobbesfeatkuderski.

I had been waiting somewhat patiently for Carnegie Mellon University to get back to me about whether or not I’d been accepted into their English program. Well, I finally did get their decision this past Monday. I know that I shouldn’t have had my hopes up, but let’s be honest here: that bit of advice goes out the window when you’re working toward a life goal.

I read the official letter online, signed and everything. They congratulated me on my achievements in the arts but eventually they said that I shouldn’t take it as any type of personal rejection. I said to myself: “Hey, next year, eh ? More time to prepare for the change in life, better chance to prepare for the scholarship process, and more time to save up money.” I’d be lying if I said it was easy to be positive at first, but I was pleasantly surprised that I have the self-confidence to believe in the promise of “Next year, friend… next year I’ll hit it out of the park.”

I feel the need to say, however...  whatever you are wanting to do with or in your life, as you gain life experience, it truly gets far easier to gain self-confidence through life experience.  How ?  Once you realize just how much you've accomplished and lived through, you gain a sense of resilience.  Weather the storm, and then again and again...  that's how self-confidence is built.  Then you'll begin to appreciate just how courageous you were:  hoping for something better to do with one's life, and acting on those dreams.  One foot in front of the other, my friend...  one by one.

Keep on keeping on,
Hobbes

When he dropped his name for a symbol, going by "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince", I thought to myself:  "I wonder what it's like to be a concept, a spiritually androgynous sensual being ?"

Prince was the first inkling of that to me, and not only did he have a soul, didn't conform to a strict religious upbringing, but he still remained on good terms with The Almighty.  It was because of Prince's blatant androgyny that in 4th grade I began wearing a cheap, 3 fake pearl mess of a clip earring, with a metal flower...  at my Roman Catholic grade school.  They didn't like me there much.

When I was born, I didn't grow up with Ziggy Stardust, or any culmination thereof.  I was presented with Bowie in the "Let's Dance" album.  That was Bowie's for me.  Intellectual and intriguing, but he was through with creating personas for awhile.

Let's get one thing straight:  Prince was not, and never will be (thank God) the black Bowie.  It's my view that Bowie created persona after persona for his art, a task not to be taken lightly.  Prince was always Prince, knew who and what he was, and remained true to himself:  integrity.  I cringe at the thought of some disastrous spin that the music industry might come up with:  "The Black Bowie"  as a take-away marketing ploy.

Prince, unlike Bowie, still appeals to me because he has a spirit, a soul unbound by labels, and saw no need to deny his sexuality in light of it.  He played every instrument known to man, did so with a perfectionist's zeal. and yet was imbued with a strong, rooted center of humility before God.

Most of all ?  He deeply moved me.  All of the kids and a few Nuns called me a faggot daily, and then treated me like an abomination.  When it was done, I felt a soul still inside, the part of me that they couldn't drive out.  Hell fire and brimstone never was the best way to imbue anything in people, except for fear for the well-being of our souls.

That's what Prince meant to me.  He was human; never discount it.  His music was a starting-off point and a sanctuary.  After all, some songs on "Purple Rain" were bleeped out every once in awhile by my mom.  But hope lay in the fact that somebody like Prince existed.

He wasn't the only ray of light.  I grew up with many 80's icons who stirred my passions, but Prince stirred the parts of me that the establishment's Catholicism couldn't drive out:  My soul; my eccentric, budding identity; and my part in our common humanity.  He reminded me that everybody deserves to be truly loved, by God and by those God presents to us on our journey.  It was a round-about way to the truth...  what my Dad would call the scenic route, but it got me here (miraculous thing that it is), and for that and your music, Prince...  I thank you.

Your first time in a cathedral, but it would be a little while.
And somehow or another, I'm certain you can't understand.
You see, of my soul-time in a cathedral, I'll be in one for awhile.
Conferring with St. Peter, the rock the Church was built on, and
Mary Magdalene to talk about the man... her only true salvation.

I'm not certain this will work for us. You never have
been one to see this. No... it isn't for you to understand.
No... it isn't for you... to understand.

You haven't lived with my prayers for the home of a cathedral,
for a state of grace in the sudden death of heavenly sentiment.
And from that, I fear that your company won't be in my future,
From this message on, and for all of us who have received
a message like this one...  We would have liked
some way to get going stronger once again.

It's a true love problem, when all is said and done.
It's a little bit more about you and me.

It's a true love problem, when all is said and done.
It's a little bit more about you and me.